A most horrific state

A Most Horrific State On a recent trip I ran into an old friend who had experienced some challenges with his health and family.   In a wearisome tone he accepted his plight….a life without much zeal, purpose or hope. I heard things like, “What can you say?”…..”I don’t know…”…..”It is what it is…” There he was….a wandering, broken life in a broken world.     I felt both loss and emptiness as I drove away. It saddens me that depression and

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A ball of yarn

I recently went to a silent retreat for a weekend. Once there, I noticed it was taking quite some time for my body and soul to unwind and slow down. Both finally matched the restful, tranquil and sacred place where I was. Why did it take so long for my body and soul to wind down? Like a car at 160 miles an hour, it took time to literally slow down my thoughts, the pace of my walking and my

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Into the hurting world I go

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33 In the midst of great pain and anguish, life can be quite difficult. Pressures from others, from day-to-day existence and challenges within us can squeeze the life out of us and steal our joy. But, the peace and love of God is more powerful than any life event and

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Into this pain

I knew one day during this cancer journey, that at some point, I’d likely be curled up in a ball of pain. It happened a few weeks ago after a shot of Neupogen, a medicine to spur my white blood cell count. It brought about excruciating pain in my joints and bones. In the middle of that pain, I realized I have a choice. Stay inward, focused on the pain and my needs – or direct my eyes to the

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Life of Smalls

I am finding that I tend to be ok with the big challenges of life, but that I often hold onto the small day-to-day challenges – little pains, dealing with the healthcare bureaucracy, being tired, etc. I keep these things to myself and don’t give them to God as I want to. I need to pray about why this is so. I know Matthew 10:28 “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall

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Cursing the Crisis

A friend of mine recently shared that she had made a choice to stop “cursing the crisis”. In her case, the crisis was Covid’s many frustrations. While not diminishing the reality of the pain it has caused, I think she was speaking to her attitude about the crisis. I resonated with her comment as I too had been cursing the crisis. So what do we do? Do I curse the situation and complain, knowing that I have little to no

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The Weight and Wear

A few weeks ago, before I turned 59, I wrote this poem about how striving for achievement and goals can weigh us down...or better put, weigh me down.   The sense I had was that I still have work to do to surrender my goals, plans and my very days to Him...to trust Him. Not sure if you can relate, but I know I want to continue my journey toward complete freedom, where I can trust Him more and more

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Heart Lessons from CoronaVirus

There’s a lot being written about the CoronaVirus….how to thrive in quarantine, how to do social distancing, what the latest statistics are, what’s shut down, etc.   But I want to invite you to go inward and examine your heart and how this new environment has affected your motives and heart.   As I reflect, it has certainly forced me to look inward at my heart. First, my heart feels frustrated and a bit out of control.   Not so

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Hiding Pain

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin (a falling away, lapse, slip, false step, trespass, sin) you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”Galatians 6:1-2  “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I

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The Pace of Our Lives

Note: This blog was written nearly 10 years ago towards the end of 2009.   I was thinking of writing about the need to slow down and found this old blog "on slowing down" in my draft outbox.  God surely has a sense of humor.  I suppose He's still working on this part of me.  I once had a customer who was very slow about getting things done. At first, because of his slowness, I thought he didn't care, but I was wrong.

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