There’s a lot being written about the CoronaVirus….how to thrive in quarantine, how to do social distancing, what the latest statistics are, what’s shut down, etc. But I want to invite you to go inward and examine your heart and how this new environment has affected your motives and heart. As I reflect, it has certainly forced me to look inward at my heart.
First, my heart feels frustrated and a bit out of control. Not so much out of fear, but just from the idea that something’s happening to affect me that I am not able to control. I am realizing that my heart and head are conditioned to think I’m in control. I make plans and just assume it’ll all go as I want.
- We’ll land 3 more clients next quarter.
- I’ll go work out tonight at the gym.
- I’m sure we’ll be able to go on vacation next month.
I’m reminded in this crisis that I tend to face up to life as though I’m in control.
I tend to think I can will things to happen with brut force. It takes a crisis like this for me to remember that my future and my plans are all in His hands and I am at His mercy. This is a humbling realization.
Sometimes I think my heart is like that of the rich fool who said in Luke 12:18-19, “I’ll build big barns to hold all my excess grain. Then, I’ll retire and have a good life!” Little did he know that he would soon lose his very life.
Last week, I surprisingly found myself starting to say, “Let’s do ___, if God wills it”. That’s progress!
Second, I must confess that I had a fairly selfish initial response to changing anything about my schedule or my life due to this virus. This won’t affect me! Why should I change anything? This is for others in China. I’m not affected by this. Business will go on. We’ll be fine.
We’ll maybe not.
I’ve since woken up to the realities of this virus, but my early response was pretty self-oriented. I wasn’t really curious about learning what I could do to best support myself and others.
I’m reminded in this crisis that my natural tendency is toward selfishness.
Lastly, in this environment of a reduced schedule, I find that I easily waste time. I’m looking at World-o-Meter Corona web stats or watching YouTube videos of the “Top 10 Boxing Knockouts” or Sonny and Cher on David Letterman and other such non-sense.
However, I now feel a desire in my heart to exercise more, rest more, spend time with the Lord, volunteer to serve the elderly, rake leaves, sit and think, take a walk with a friend, spend time with family, turn off the TV and write more.
I’m reminded in this crisis that my natural tendency is toward waste and sloth.
I desperately need God’s help to not devolve into a mindless, selfish waste of time. Time is precious, life is precious and I am not in charge. I can barely control myself, not to mention life. I want to have a more humble heart as a result of this virus.
Instead of “I’m in control” – I want – “God I need to trust you today.”
Instead of “This won’t hurt me!” – I want – “God how should I see this?”
Instead of “I’ll binge on YouTube!” – I want – “God what do you have for me today?”
So how is your heart? What is God impressing on you? What idol or fear or human tendency are you now seeing as a result of this?
I pray that the Lord meets you where you are and that you are able to rest in Him during this time of isolation, quiet, less noise and less activity. I need that and I pray that we all draw closer to Him however He leads each of us to do that. I pray for a genuine humility as we move forward. In the name of Jesus, Amen