I knew one day during this cancer journey, that at some point, I’d likely be curled up in a ball of pain.
It happened a few weeks ago after a shot of Neupogen, a medicine to spur my white blood cell count. It brought about excruciating pain in my joints and bones.
In the middle of that pain, I realized I have a choice. Stay inward, focused on the pain and my needs – or direct my eyes to the Lord and honestly cry out to Him. I know many of you are in even worse kinds of turmoil, uncertainty or pain and I pray this poem over you as you put one foot in front of the other.
Into this Pain I Want to Crawl
Into this pain I want to crawl
And hide beneath a darkened shawl
To not recall the good before
But curl up tight upon the floor
Yet oftentimes this is the way
To lay so still and get away
But not from God or Spirit’s aid
Tis near Their side I often stayed
To lean my head toward the sky
To tell my God “I know not why
This pain it hurts and digs beneath
Deep inside to bones and teeth
But in the midst of all these pains
My heart it wants to ‘er sustain
The love I know You have for me
That came from Calvary’s sacred tree
Where pain cried out as none before
Where You sought God and didn’t ignore
The path he had for you that day
Help me Lord to think this way
To not remove my eyes from Thee
To pray for grace on bended knee
To thank you for my blessed life
‘Er close to You within the strife
WGS 8/8/21
